Archive for the ‘travel’ Tag
No photos of Aruba yet so heres a picture taken shortly before the forest police arrived and went nuts..Ehh, wasn’t me!
With my latest adventure planned I thought it best to take a moment to explain why I haven’t put up any posts for a while on my blog and why some recent posts are not in order of when things happened.
OK..
I’m going to live and work on a donkey farm and also volunteer at a National park in Aruba in the Caribbean. I will be there for six months. This is step one in my plans for 2013 but I can’t say for sure what I will do afterwards. Definitely something along the lines of travel and adventure anyway. I have ideas but nothing concrete yet, suggestions welcome.
The last part of my book Without Wax kind of ended with the post http://withoutwaxblogdotcom.com/2012/11/30/looking-forward/ ,but then Only in Panama (Porn to raise Hell) was a little story I’d forgotten to write about so I just stuck it on there after starting my attempt at an introduction to a second book with a post called ‘Round 2′.
Oh yeah.. There is also an advert for party poker that doesn’t fit in at all, but lets not dwell on my selling out!
I really have to live it before I can write about it so you know as much as I what will feature next.
Hopefully I can finally find my geek (I love the bookworm type) and you can read a ‘happy ever after’ post at some point. Until then you might have to settle for me doing what I unfortunately do best. So if you are sporting a MASSIVE pair of glasses, woolly jumper two sizes too big with a bland pony tail draped down your back then you can find me somewhere in Aruba. I’ll be the one scooping donkey poop with skin like a lobster!
Happy travels people and I hope to update soon..
I like to travel and see the world.
I enjoy meeting new people and seeing things we wouldn’t normally see, but it’s those one off characters that you meet along the way while traveling that brings a little smile to the face and makes you say “That could only happen here”!
In the small city of David close to the border of Costa Rica we wait for our guide who will take us on a tour of the surrounding countryside. This is where we meet one shady looking funny geezer. We are here in Panama for the first of our visa runs but also to bump into characters like this.
He stands near by smoking his cigarette then approaches our small group of obvious tourists whilst digging a wallet from his pocket. He’s showing us an old, battered picture. Maybe his wife, girlfriend or children. No, none of that nonsense in Panama. He holds out his favourite hard-core porn picture. Maybe this is’t such a bad thing. In the case of such a national tragedy happening as this man getting macked by a big bus, they could scoop the rest of him into a nice little sandwich bag, open his wallet and discover that he was in fact male. No need for ID just some x rated pics. Who cares about his name anyway, the man has porn and that’s the kind of heirloom that every man wants. Or maybe that’s just here.
We would later see a black 4×4 in the city centre cruising by the market vendors with a large man kneeling down in the back. A sudden stop and he’s onto the pavement with his shotgun grabbing what must be hundreds of cigarettes from someone before casually leaping back in and hitting the road. We thought we’d just witnessed a robbery but this was the police and there way of controlling the black market. No paper work needed, just frighten the shit out of them with an unmarked drive-by. Would you ask a monster with a shotgun for his police ID?
It was when we were at the border and in the process of leaving Panama when we passed one of the craziest characters I’ve ever seen. Not one of the craziest, most definitely the craziest! We were on our way to get some cheap whiskey when we passed this nutter wearing an unbuttoned military shirt, black baseball cap and shouting at no one in particular while brandishing a large silver pistol. I’m no gun expert but this thing looked heavy duty. On our way back I had my camera phone at the ready to take a very cheeky wee picture of this mad man but he was nowhere to be seen. In place there now stood a noticeable number of armed police officers. Wish I could have witnessed the events that transpired and God do I wish I had a picture of this lunatic! Maybe Simon got one?
Check out my friends web site http://skipperphotography.dk
“Don’t know what happened to your umbrella. Broke all by its self”!
I am a man of very few morals and those few I possess have the tendency to change frequently on account of my present situation and to justify to myself whatever my mind deems fit to carry out. It just makes life that bit more fun when that inner voice asks “Why not”?
I enjoy travel, hot weather, French accents and football when my teams winning. Mistakes made while using a foreign language, like the time I asked in Polish for a plate of pussy instead of chips or the girl who walked into the bar asking for cock instead of Coke. Funny place names such as Wankdorf –Switzerland- and Oberfucking –Austria- can make me smile for days.
I like the misfortune of others, like the guy who accidently mowed his foot with an old fashioned lawnmower then lost an eye to his own flying big toe or the American guy who at the age of sixty underwent a circumcision and awoke from the anaesthetic to find his whole penis had been removed. I also like ranting about things I don’t like.
I don’t like windy days, spiders, noisy eaters and people walking slowly.
I hate people who post shit like “100 likes if you wish cancer didn’t exist. If you had a heart you’d repost this”. Fuck off you nonce. Yea, well done. You’ve just cured cancer with that one! Grow up and get a fucking life eh. It’s all very noble of you to dislike cancer but to suggest that others are heartless for not reposting some words just makes you a fucking arsehole with nothing better to do with your hopefully short time on Earth than sit on your fat lazy ass watching day time television and typing useless shite on Facebook. Lol. Don’t get me started on the lols and lamos of the world.
I hate hippies that feel that everyone should share their tree hugging views and I hate people who need to be told by others who and what they like in life.
I’m actually a very happy person and almost never serious about anything but, like everybody else, I have my little hang-ups and it’s impossible to be happy all the time.
I’ve never liked the idea of describing myself as a profession i.e. I am a doctor, I am a plumber, I am this or blah, blah that. I believe that is your profession but it’s not who you are. I would much prefer to fill you in on the stuff that’s happened in life to make me who I am today.
And why would you care? Well, I’ve tried to write about all things that would interest me if I was reading about someone else. Funny, embarrassing, crazy and stupid moments I’m sure I’ll regret sharing but at the end of the day I’ve just enjoyed finally putting my memories to paper and hope that someone else can enjoy this story as much as I’ve enjoyed living it.
